Breaking Down Barriers to Good Listening

My friend Robert Mayo commented on my blog post about the S.O.L.E.R. approach to non-verbal listening skills. This is what he said about eye contact:

“As always you share great advice Devin. Today I was meeting with someone at Panera Bread while someone else was cleaning the windows behind the person I was meeting with. It was hard to maintain eye contact while being distracted.” (By the way, Robert is a great guy and an amazing auctioneer here in Kansas City. I once witnessed him ever so skillfully execute a liquidation for a furniture store in Kansas City and it was pure magic. You can learn more about his services at www.auctionbymayo.com.)

The reason I bring up Robert’s comment is because he raises a very good point: even if we truly care about making the person our focus, circumstances can often times get in the way of good listening. In the book, “25 Ways to Win with People,” (by John Maxwell and Dr. Les Parrott) Mr. Maxwell lists 6 barriers you must overcome in order to, as he so eloquently puts it, “Listen with your heart.” The six barriers are:

-Distractions (cell phone ringing, television, etc.)

-Defensiveness (taking the person’s complaints or criticism as a personal attack and reacting accordingly).

-Closed-mindedness (you think you already have all the answers and don’t need to hear what the person has to say).

-Projection (”attributing your own thoughts and feelings to others”)

-Assumptions (jumping to conclusions)

-Pride (being full of yourself)

Mr. Maxwell says our goal should be to eliminate as many of these barriers as possible. Of course, as in the instance of my friend Robert, sometimes distractions are nearly impossible to eliminate. But as distractions arise such as people walking by or background music playing in a restaurant, focusing on the principles in S.O.L.E.R. works like magic in breaking down these barriers.

The book is full of great information on how to, as the subtitle says, “Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks.” Do yourself a favor and get the book – I highly recommend it. Again, it is “25 Ways to Win with People” by John Maxwell and Dr. Les Parrott.

The Cross the Ultimate Mark

As a speaker whose topic is making your mark, in the corporate world I do not mention the ultimate mark of all time which was made at the cross. However, my lessons in making your mark, sharing your magic, and treating people well all stem from the golden rule, Christ’s second greatest commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself. God is love, and because of Him we are capable of loving each other.

This Easter I count my  blessings as though it were Thanksgiving: an amazing family, wonderful friends, a great career, a home, food on my table, health, this incredible country, and the list goes on and on. I think of those less fortunate than myself and remember the best hope the world has is the hope found in Christ Jesus. As my pastor stated in his Easter message, “Without Him we have no way to deal with our sin.” I am eternally grateful to Christ who died, was buried, rose again, ascended into Heaven, and offers us eternal life when we invite Him into our lives. The mark Christ made while on earth was the ultimate act of selflessness and love and will echo throughout eternity. “By His stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)

“Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job”

I had a great time Wednesday presenting to the students of entrepreneurship at JCCC. We had a question and answer time and one student asked me the million dollar question: “How did you transition from a full-time job to starting your own business?” I answered by telling him I was fortunate to never have had to make that transition. Upon graduating from Kansas State University in the fall of 2003, I began my career as a professional magician immediately. I worked about 15 hours a week at an after school daycare for a while (my job during college), but within the first few months I was blessed with enough “gigs” to make a living right away. However, I suggested a book to this student…

Recently, Jon Acuff was featured on the Dave Ramsey radio talk show. Mr. Acuff is the author of the book: “Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job and Your Dream Job.” Mr. Acuff claims that his book offers valuable information for anyone wanting to make their dream job a reality. The book has not yet been released, but you can pre-order the book on Amazon.com (click here). It will be released on May 10th – I look forward to picking up a copy for myself.

JCCC Entrepreneurship

Tomorrow, Wednesday, April 20th at noon I will be presenting to the students in the entrepreneurship program at Johnson County Community College. This presentation is open to the public. We will be meeting in the Hudson Auditorium which is on the 2nd floor of the Nerman Museum which is on the northeast corner of the JCCC campus. My presentation is titled “Make Your Mark: Share Your Magic.” I inspire people to discover what “magic” they can bring to their daily interactions in business and in life. I hope to see you there for a time of magic, fun and inspiration!

The Improv

Every Saturday at 1:00 at the Kansas City Improv we perform a family-friendly comedy magic show. My magician friend’s Todd Lamanske, Tom Burgoon and I perform on a rotational basis. Visit the Improv’s website to see our schedule. Tickets are $10. I hope to see you there soon!

My Two Princesses

My daughters Charlie and Claire

Show pics

Johnson County Librarians Workshop - Schmooze'em or Lose'em

Pioneer Services - Comedy Magic

Upward Ministries - Tonganoxie Christian Church - Magic vs. Miracles

Relay for Life (my high school friends Jill, Amie & Nikki) - Mentalism

J.E. DUNN Construction - Close-up Magic

Ellsworth, Kansas Cowtown Festival - Comedy Magic